


Forbidden true love

by Aquagirl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Swearing, btvs, im rubbish at tags, pleaseforgive me, relationship, swearing I guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 8,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8263991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aquagirl/pseuds/Aquagirl
Summary: Have you ever had that trouble of loving someone who you can't be with.Spike/oc





	1. Sleep

You wake up suddenly having heard something.  
You know who it is,well you wish you do.  
As much as you know you shouldn't,you can't help taking a short panting breath.  
It's him you know it is.  
He has that feeling around him  
The one you love but know you shouldn't   
The one you loves you back though he shouldn't,can't,won't,can't.  
"Hello luv"  
You let out your breath.  
"Oh thats good you don't want to take the fun out of it by killing yourself"  
You sit up suddenly making him flinch  
"What do you want?"  
You ask cold and unfeeling  
"Nothing much I was just passing by"  
"Neither of us are fooled by that spike"  
You stand suddenly looking for your shoes knowing these occurrences were getting far too common.  
"What you doing pet"  
"What does it look like,I'm going out"  
"What for I woke you up"  
" yeah so now I'm awake its not like I'll be able to get much sleep any way"  
"Where you going to go to? Hmm"  
"Cemeteries is where the vamps usually hang out I hear"  
"Luv you may be taking it a step too far too quick"  
"Like you'd care you bloodsucking killer"  
You have obviously struck a nerve but its too late to hold it in.  
"Stay here i'll leave you get back to sleep"   
You start at his tone of voice and you see he means what he's saying,his face has shifted and you take a breath,you love him like this just as much as him normally.  
He yells then loud enough to wake the dead and you should know,you think.  
"What does a guy have to do around here to get punched"  
"You could have just asked" you say then without giving yourself a chance to think you punch him in the stomach  
He reels back and you think suddenly that you got it wrong that it was a trick of the light making him look like a vampire that he was actually just a human not able to take a blow that hard when he suddenly looks up a look on his face that breaks your heart.  
You realise then that he said lunch not punched and you feel a terror run through you.  
Not of him but of what you did and how easily you did it.  
"What are you doing here"  
The voice of the person you least want there is talking from the window  
"You're yelling like an old married couple"  
"What do you want angel" you sigh impatiently   
"Oh I just was wondering if buffy was hiding out at yours since she seems to be nowhere else"  
"I am here you know" Cries spike suddenly   
You remember what you did and pale suddenly,you look over to where he's lying on the floor   
As you turn to help him up angel suddenly exclaims something you rather wish he had overlooked   
"Wait how come he's In your room"  
The look on his face makes you know you had better tell the truth or hell kill you both  
"Um well my mum kind of likes him thinks it would be good for me to have some Friends"  
"Why are you laughing"  
You look at angel with a questioning look on your face puzzled   
"I just can't think that your mum thinks you need help with friends"  
You suddenly hear buffy calling angels name   
He turns quickly saying to you that he'll be back tomorrow before leaving to make out with buffy you have no trouble in believing   
"Are you finished with the poof yet"  
Spike calls from the floor  
You turn to him with a mischievous look on your face ready to haul him up and do what you should have months ago to find yourself millimetres from his face breathing quietly into his Face you swallow nervously hoping that that you know what is to come next  
You feel his hands and arms start to encircle your waste slowly at first giving you a chance to pull back but when he realises that your not trying to he pulls you to him in a matter of seconds breathing unneeded breaths   
You can feel his cold breath on your skin your lips and if you hadn't known already you know you would have felt you loved him at that moment   
He leans in and you take another unneeded breath before he leans in to capture your mouth in his  
You lose yourself in your kiss with the man you love before realising that he was slowly leaning backwards to indicate what his plans were for you both  
You grin into his mouth making him begin to pull backwards startled by your manner you grab him to keep him close for you fear when he leaves the proximity to your skin he will never return   
you collapse onto your bed hands roaming slowly over each others bodies a happy tingly feeling passing through your body   
you shudder causing him to stop but when he realises you were doing it in response to his touch he grabs you and covers your mouth with his yet again.


	2. An ALARMing wake up call

You wake up feeling strangely happy   
Your alarm clock is ticking and everythings normal until you remember the previous nights turn of events.

You turn your head slightly when you hear a groan.  
And then you wish you hadn't.  
Spike was laying there but that wasn't the thing that made you turn away it was the big purplish bruise marking his stomach.  
You had no idea how you where going to explain that one.  
You contemplated the truth but dismissed it almost straight away it would just make it worse between you not better as you knew (or thought you   
knew).  
You would have to make up some excuse like that you did kickboxing as a kid   
perhaps.  
"Hey luv how'd you manage that"  
Do you love me you thought,Ignoring his question.  
Turning your head again you hear a knock on your door and your mothers voice  
You quickly yell that you'll be right there and that you've just got to put some clothes on.

You glance over at spike and whispered at him to hide in the closet as you slowly got changed.

"Coming" you yell.

As you open the door you are surprised to see both your mum and dad standing there.  
"Is there a boy in there" they ask.  
"No" you reply which isn't actually lying considering that spike was about 129  
Years old and you couldn't exactly call him a boy at that age.

"Fine we just was wondering whether you minded us going out for a bit and leaving you here."

"Cool" you reply

"Right well leave you to go back to sleep or whatever you where doing and get going we should be gone no more than 7 hours ok"  
"Ok"


	3. The truth

As you close the door you look around to see spike poking his bleached blonde head out from your wardrobe.  
"Hey luv do I not count as a boy!"  
"No you don't mister 129! Also I can't exactly tell them that I have got a guy in here can I?! They would freak".  
You take another unneeded breath.  
The night had been full of them but you had to keep up pretences.

"So what'd you say to us going back to SLEEP?"  
"I'd say that your a very clever vampire"  
You have a teasing tone in place and you slowly walk towards him but about twelve inches from him you stop and you remember that you were going to tell him the truth that morning"  
A glance over at your clock changed your mind   
"Oh god I got to go to school"  
"What for pet I'd thought you'd finished"  
"Oh I have but I promised I'd help buffy and faith with their training"  
You realised your mistake to late  
"Their going to beat you to a pulp luv"  
"Um it's ok I can handle it I promise"  
"Luv belive me one slayer there'd be a slight chance two hell no"  
"Spike" you say slowly  
"What" you can see that he's mad but loving and caring and it breaks your heart  
"Um you might want to sit down first because I've got something to tell you "  
"Fine" he sits down obviously annoyed   
"Hey people"  
You can't belive it  
"I can't belive it"   
Angel again at the point that you really don't need him.  
"What angel bad timing"  
"I'm still looking for buffy,whats spike still doing in your room and why the hell is he naked!"  
"Um it's absolutely none of your business angel"  
"Like hell it is why is he in your room"  
"Angel please I haven't told him yet"  
"Told me what pet"  
He's using your nickname but you can tell he's angry.  
"Um angel I invite you in as long as no punching or hitting biting scratching or any hurtful thing is inflicted on spike "  
"Thanks s....."  
"If you finish that sentence you're dust  
GOT IT"  
"got it"  
"Right ok spike I um have a few things you should know about me" you say as angel climbs through the window.  
"I am a vampire who happens to be one of the five in the world who has more in common with humans,like I can hang about in daylight without burning up I'm not allergic to garlic and I can um have kids"  
You watch as spike practically falls off the bed.  
You can't help but stare at his naked back remembering rubbing your hands up and down his spine knowing you will never do it again.  
"I wah what how why"  
"What do you mean why I didn't ask did i and I've got a few more things to say"  
"More come on pet you could have something before we did the dirty"  
You can't help but feel sad as he said that and as angel grimaces.  
"What have you two been doing"  
"None of your business now will you just let me finish"  
"What for"  
"What do you mean what for he has a right to know"  
"Why,because he,and I quote did the dirty with you"  
"No" "yes" "no" "it's because um wait that's got nothing to do with anything"  
"Hi I'm here is anyone going to help me up"  
Just as you were about to help spike up you hear a knock on the front door and you remember you were supposed to go to school to help out.  
"Oh god that's gonna be buffy or faith or both of them"  
"Right both of you in the wardrobe while I answer the door and angel if you say anything your dead"


	4. Buffy sees

You storm out the room and to the front door without looking back.  
You can see the silhouette of a girl that was obviously buffy at the door.  
As you open it you notice a stench that wafts in as does buffy   
She's covered in a green goop and heading straight to your room you leap ahead of her to stop her.  
"Um you can't go in there it's really messy but we could go in the living room if you want and what the hells the matter with you..... huh"  
You grunt as she sidesteps you and goes to enter your room you glance ahead of her and are shocked to hear moans coming from the wardrobe mixed in with pants and grunts.  
"What the hell are you talking about Rachel whats that in the wardrobe?!"  
"Stop" you yell hoping that might stop them all.  
You're glad to hear the sounds stop though annoyed they started in the first place.  
"Why are you here"  
"I was wandering around when I heard thumps coming from your room and you yelling i was coming to see if you were alright when a stupid lazcore demon attacked. Which is why I'm covered in green goop I wouldn't usually choose it as a clothes choice now would I"  
Good point you think   
"Look I'm ok so you don't need to worry I was having a night mare and fell out of bed" you hope that she buys your lie as you steer her towards the door.


	5. More explanations

As buffy leaves your house you turn your back to the door to stare at your bedroom with a look of disapproval on your face seeing two sheepish heads peeking round the door one battered and bruised and the other white and glass like.  
You run towards the bedroom to help angel from where he had collapsed onto the floor  
You turn to glare at spike telling him to put some clothes on when you see him sitting on your bed holding his head in his hands.  
As you look at him he glances up at you with a sad look on his face as he starts putting his clothes on and you know he couldn't help it and that it had been angel.  
Rounding on angel you glare at him  
"What did you SAY?"  
"What do you mean what did I say he beat me"  
"No offence spike but angel he couldn't you could easily fight him off but you didn't even try!"  
"Actually luv he did try to fight me off  
But in my defence he started saying things about the two of you and well I couldn't just do nothing I am a vampire"  
"What was he saying?"  
You carry on glaring at angel over your shoulder while listening to spikes reply.  
"He said that you two where together and that you and he had done IT almost every night"  
You turn to angel and kick him hard as buffy comes storming into the room....


	6. Truths all around

"What are you doing" buffy yells as she runs to cover angel with her own body.  
"What do you think you are doing you have no right to do that".  
"You don't even know why I did it".  
You yell,angry you were interrupted.  
When you realise who it was you apologise though you don't to angel  
Buffy pulls him up to sit on the bed angels head on her lap.  
"Now will you tell me why you lied,why you were hurting angel and why the hell spike is sitting on your bed looking like he owns the place!".  
You turn to spike and give him an annoyed look.  
"Spike being here is none of your business,I lied because angel was annoying me and I was trying to get rid of you so I could get back to explaining something to spike and I hit angel because he told spike we were together which he wouldn't have got away with had I fully explained,that good enough for you".  
" what were you explaining?".  
"We'll thats actually quite a big question".  
"Stop messing around and tell me".  
"Fine,I am a vampire one of the five that exist which means I can go in sunlight without burning,I can be near garlic,i have a reflection plus i can have kids,  
That's what I have already said   
I also wanted to say that I am 249 and am Angels sister so I do have a right since I am actually related to him".  
You notice that spike seems much less cocky.  
You glance at the clock and gasp realising that your mum and dad will be back any minute.  
You start gabbling getting angel to leave the house through the window and pushing buffy through the front door with a goodbye and a promise to talk later.  
You turn to spike and sit on you bed next to him.  
"Now are you okay" you ask   
"You think I'm going to be ok after that?!"  
You hear your parents come in but you don't move you just listen   
"I can't really take it in I mean you a vampire Angel's sister I guess that's why you said you could handle it"  
"Yeah" you answer but politely wait for him to finish  
"Honey we're home" your mum says barging into your room to see you and spike with your head on his shoulder and eyes closed.  
You start and wake up as your mum screams  
And you realise your covered in bruises and scratches  
"You two in the living room NOW!"  
You can tell mums mad but you can't help feeling angry she has no right to be.  
"Come on I don't want her angrier than she apparently already is."  
"Fine pet anything for you."  
You can't help wondering if he truly does love you   
You start walking towards the living room when you suddenly stop turn around and kiss spike on the lips hard before turning back around and walking into the living room over to the sofa and sitting down.  
As you sit you see a puzzled yet happy look on spikes face as he comes over to join you.


	7. Scorned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I did the wrong chapter

You can see your mum means business just by looking at her.  
Just as she starts talking by saying  
"I can't belive you didn't tell me,you lied to me"  
When buffy comes walking in asking whether or not I could come help patrol with her and faith"  
"Patrol what" my mum asks  
You decide that you don't have to answer to her so you get up pulling spike with you following buffy out the house as your mum yells that if you leave the house your not allowed back again.  
You grasp his hand so tightly you think you may actually hurt him.  
He whispers to you so low you know only you can hear him  
"She doesn't mean it you know she's just mad at the moment shell calm down you just need to give her time."  
You press your body as close to his as you can while still being able to walk  
Your heart beats faster at the closeness between you  
You have to ask him but not now not here.  
So instead you talk to buffy  
"So where we going and can I stay at yours for a while just until mum feels inclined to let me back in the house?"  
"Sure you can stay at mine it's not like you've got really anywhere else to go."  
You take a glance at spike seeing the glint in his eye and he whispers  
"I got a new crypt of my own"  
You grin despite yourself and whisper back "i hope I'll get to help decorate it"  
He grins back but more subtly he does that so much better than you  
You love him so much it hurts and you have to tell him


	8. A conversation between lovers

Two days later.......  
You wake up in buffys guest bedroom with a headache   
All you remember is getting in late after vampire hunting and crashing on the bed  
Actually you remember collapsing on the sofa and falling asleep   
Which means someone had to have moved you and you have a feeling that its the person who's laying next to you with a grin on his face   
"Have you told buffy about coming to live with me for a bit"  
"Not yet I was gonna wait until later after training"  
"I still think there gonna beat you to a pulp"  
"Wanna watch to make sure"  
"Fine giles asked me to ID the demon your gonna go after next anyway"  
"Sure ok"  
"It's true"  
"Ok I belive you geez"  
He leans down to kiss you before leaping off the bed proclaiming to having to leave before the sun rises.  
You know he's just not wanting the ear ache that would be given if he stayed.  
As he turns to leave the room you grap your clothes and whisper "meet me at your crypt eleven o'clock tonight".  
"Goodbye" he says while nodding in answer to your statement.


	9. The library

You glance around you as you walk towards the library.  
You see a head duck down behind the building.  
You follow the sound of clanging down the ally reaching the end to see no one.  
You were sure it was him.   
You turn around ready to go back to your original path when someone walks in front of you.  
"Did I scare you?" He asks with a grin  
"Never!" You reply playful as ever.  
"You coming to watch me get beaten to a pulp or what?" You say sarcastically.  
He grips your hand then telling you not to turn around but if course you do.   
You turn and duck as a leg comes flying at you or rather spike as he jumps to avoid it landing meters away.  
Five minutes of brutal fighting later you turn and run skidding into the library at top speed.  
"BUFFY" you yell "Please come and help spike he's gotten mauled!"  
"Coming" buffy shouts and races down the stairs skidding to a stop when she sees the tears streaming down your face.  
"No please don't stop help him I can't do it on my own"   
"Okay show me where he is"  
"Giles I'll be back" buffy shouts "get the med kit"

Three hours later 

Spikes pov  
You wake up with a groggy head and a need for coffee for some strange reason.  
Slowly things start piecing themselves together as a voice reaches into the darkness and grabs your heart.  
As a hand reaches out to grasp your hand.  
You hold it tightly as someone whispers to you to stay still while you get a lot of asprin for your headache.

Rachel's pov  
………………………….................……………....…………  
Silence falls as you hold his hand.  
You stand up as he grasps for you looking down at the face you had come to love.  
He seems so broken and you hate to see him like that.


	10. A night of love and paper

You stand outside your lovers crypt readying yourself to knock when you hear a noise behind you.  
You spin around stake in hand to come face to face with the last person you expected to see.  
you back up towards the door pushing on it with all your might,making the door push inwards.  
As you stumble backwards you're caught by his hands you stand up and entwine your hand with his he whispers in your ear to back up and put a couple of cups of blood in the microwave while he deals with the intruder.  
You push him backwards gently though while staring down the man you hoped to never see again.  
Though man was too nice a word.  
"What are you DOING here Charles?".  
You ask knowing you'll never get a straight answer out of him never expecting him to actually tell you.  
"I'm here looking for you like I have been for seven years unlucky until now which means I'm guessing that angels back".  
You glance over your shoulder to see spike glancing at him uncomfortably.   
"Yeah he is whats that got to do with you and if you have any decency you will leave now and let us carry on with what we where gonna do and you to do what you would do other wise".  
"Are you and he together?".  
You say quickly that its no such thing and that you where just gonna talk about demonic and vampiric things.  
You see spike giving a blank look but you could feel his hurt radiating from him.  
As you turn back you feel a urge inside you and you yell so quietly it didnt really count as yelling.  
"I banish thee to the outskirts of the country   
Where he will free  
Some kind of good entity".  
You feel a breeze run through the room and suddenly he turns fleeing from the crypt until finally falling and being carried by the wind far away.  
You turn with an apologetic smile on your face.  
"Sorry about the door".  
"It's ok I'll fix it".  
"What was with the rhyming"  
"Oh yeah I'm a witch"  
"Of course you are"   
You run then straight at him and you cry.  
You can't help yourself he's so kind and understanding no matter what he says.  
And you feel yourself melting to his touch.   
You pull him backwards and fall to the floor wishing him to wash away your pain and fill you with happiness.

Next morning two hours before dusk  
You wake,you wiggle yourself out of his grasp.  
You start pulling on your clothes and stand up you can't leave without letting him know anything.  
So you sit and write him five replicas of a note and stick them in different places he must see them.  
And then you slowly sift his body away from where daylight will fall and cover him in a blanket.  
You stand and walk away.  
You have to.  
You don't want to.  
But you have to.  
Because if it wasn't hard.  
Then you would never feel happy when it was easy.


	11. Leaving home for home

You wake up and get back on the road readying yourself to see your parents.  
You hate them right now you really do.  
They practically blackmailed you.  
You remember everything they said.

Flashback  
The day before you left 

You stood outside your house.  
You walk up to the front door and knock with one hand the other filled with strong bags ready to be filled.  
"Honey can you get the door" you hear your mum shout  
Just as the door opens you turn to leave   
You can't really belive you came   
"Darling is that you" your dad calls  
You don't want to be ignorant so you turn around again and walk towards the door.  
"Yes dad it's me i was just wondering if I could pick up some stuff"  
"Come in come in"  
Your dad seems to just ignore the question and usher you in.  
You walk inside to be pulled on to the sofa and blasted with Horiffic words.  
You stand and shout back that you can't live like this so your not going to.  
You're going to leave.   
Forever and your not coming back to them.  
They stand then as well and say that they will disown you if you leave and you will never be welcome back again if you go but if you come with them then they will put it all behind them.  
You stand there then shocked.  
You can't leave you can't but you can't leave your parents either even if their only your adoptive parents you still love them.   
You sit then and you cry too late you realise to do anything you want so you sit and you look at them and you nod in agreement.

End of flashback

You hate yourself as well right now   
You know you have hurt people but it hurts you as well which surely shows you don't want it.  
You laugh then but not a nice laugh a hard distant laugh because you saw the name of the town as you pass through the border   
Peaceville   
Seriously you think,I'm gonna live in a place called that.  
You pull over then.  
You're here.  
Home.


	12. A call

As you start to unpack you notice a box on top of your clothes.  
You don't remember packing it.  
You sit on the bed and pick it up  
As you start to open it you feel a breeze which makes you shiver and you turn towards the window  
You gasp as you realise who it is  
"You sent me too the outskirts of the town remember!"  
You gulp  
You never thought he would carry on looking  
You look over his shoulder,anything to avoid looking at him  
You see the person behind him and gasp,you can't belive it  
"Flo?"  
"Hi Rachel"  
"What happened to mistress not that I mind you saying my name I spent years trying to get you to call me that?"  
"The mistresses stopped when you left"  
"You can't surely hold me leaving against me,you know I left for good reasons I wouldn't have done it otherwise. I asked you to come with me,remember"  
"Yes I remember and I said I'd think about it and then you left me the next day"  
"You didn't let me know and I needed to leave"  
"Break up the cat fight girls please!"  
"I didn't realise please was in your vocabulary"  
"Witty as always"  
"Catty as always"  
"No that would be you flo"  
"I thought she was your favourite childe"  
"She was until she said i was catty and sided with you"  
"Well honey you can't have everything"  
You shudder as he says honey you remember the last time he said it  
"That name is reserved for my lover"  
"I know that's why I used it"  
"Shut up and leave"  
"Or what?"  
"Or I'll write you a little poem and read it out to you"  
"Witty yet again"  
"No it wasn't I'm saving all my energy for later"  
You hear a thump and turn your head to see you parents standing there hoffified looks on their faces.  
"What are you doing in here?"  
Your mum gasps  
"What does it look like I'm trying to get unwanted guests to leave"  
"Not trying very hard are you"  
"No I am he is just very persistent"  
"Who is this one then,another unknown boyfriend"  
"What do you mean another!"  
He yells  
"She's mine"  
You laugh  
"Look I get that you love me i do,or used to love me,or think you loved me,or think you love me but I don't love you I just don't so i don't get why you don't try to find someone else who loves you and you love instead of trying to get someone you love to love you"  
You take a deep breath it's mostly just by habit you take them now.  
"Please just leave me alone to live my life with the man I love please"  
"You know I just can't do that"  
He says,he turns away from your window without a backward glance and disappears into the night.  
"Who do you love,I hope not that fake boy you had in your room a few nights ago!"  
"Yes actually mum and he's not fake he's just dyed his hair"  
"Well I'm just saying that its not gonna go anywhere"  
"Oh you have no idea"  
You reach for the bed and the discarded box as you reach inside it you say.  
"Look I love him ok I love him and you can't stop me from ok I'm leaving I'm going back I can't stay here I don't want to stay here"  
You pull out a piece of card as your parents leave the room  
You glance down to see a drawing on the back.  
You turn the card over to see a picture,you guess it's the one you saw him drawing in the crypt a couple if days ago,he'd said it wasn't ready to be seen yet.  
As you turn the card back over something drops out.  
It's two tickets to the zombie apocalypse 7 romance movie on in five weeks.  
You smile as you remember planning it all.  
You read: this is a present from me I hope you like it,it means that wherever we are we are connected.  
You have the key,I the lock as you hold and think any thought I will feel a pull and same in reverse if we are both holding them then we can have a conversation.this turned a little less poetic as time has gone on.  
You tip out your present on to your palm  
It's a silver key on a silver chain As you hold it you shiver  
You can't stay here any longer  
You'll die  
You remember reading something in a book about a special bond between a vampire and their loved one.  
Something about drawin blood during fighting a slayer.  
Of course they wouldn't have expected it to be from a slayer.


	13. A visit

You stand and leave the table   
As you exit the diner and walk towards your car your surrounded by men   
You know they're vampires.  
You walk in a circle smiling as you draw near to the leader of the pack you lunge forwards and pull the legs of his second in command to the floor as you stab the vamp to his left you grind the sic into the floor.  
You spin and knock the leader to the floor as someone jumps out from behind you and starts attacking you.  
You hit him and breath because its spike  
And he's kissing you   
You pull back and whisper   
"As much as I want this I think we should kill the baddies......first"  
He grins and you smile before flying out and knocking two vamps to the ground each you run at another two as spike stakes the four vamps efficiently   
"Luv how did you do this without me?!"  
You can hear the arrogant tone of voice but dismiss it because you can't deal with it right now you're going to have to get him to stop that.  
"With angels help" you reply hoping that would shut him up long enough for you to concentrate,no such luck.  
"What!! He knew you were here and he didnt tell me!"  
"Spike calm down,please,he didn't tell you,because I asked him too."  
"Why?"  
You groan when you hear the tone of voice.  
It's going to be a long night.


	14. Angel

He peers around the corner at you both grimacing as he sees you laugh.


	15. Confessions

You glance up as you hear a sound near the window.  
You were sure you'd shut it before you got into bed.   
You get up to close the window when you hear a creak behind you.  
You whirl around to come face to face with him.  
You gasp and chuckle at the same time as he creeps his arms around you  
"What are you doing here?" You say  
"What does it look like,I'm here for you"  
"Well did you ever think of asking if I wanted to be got"  
"Well I don't really think you have a choice in the matter"  
You smile and pull him closer

Next morning you wake turning on your side to stare at the empty side of the bed.  
You sit up straight relived to see him.  
His back towards you,you stand hopping over to him bending down to place a kiss on his shoulder he shudders and turns.  
He's holding your cross in his hands smoke spilling over him into the room.  
Tears on his face he begs.  
"Who is he? Please rach,please"  
As you grab the cross from his hands you answer with.  
"He's an old boyfriend I guess you could say."  
"How old"  
"Well he kept me trapped for about 50 years in his basement"  
"WHAT! Why?"  
"He apparently loved me and didnt want me to leave. I tried so many times and each time he pushed me back to square one"  
"Where is he? I'll kill him!"  
"No! No you won't,you can't he's too strong. I went back the next year after i escaped and tried so hard and so many times and I couldn't kill him, i asked angel and everybody I knew and belive me everyone I know is a lot of people and those people were all vampires so seriously you can't."  
"I can try"  
You can't belive he is willing to try after all that but you shake yourself out of your stupor so as to not lose him.  
You back slowly to the door.  
"I can't let you leave" "Promise me"  
"I can't do that"  
"You can"  
"I'm sorry"  
"No I can't lose you too"  
You yell throwing yourself on him knocking the cross from his hand in the process  
He sits then collapsing under your body.  
"What do you mean you can't lose me too who else tried to save you."  
You roll off of him to sit by his side.  
You reach for his hand but he pulls away.  
You snatch your hand back as quickly as you had reached out only to find yourself encased in a breath shattering tight hug.  
You lean into him as you weep remembering things you had forgotten for so long as soon as they had happened you had pushed them to the back of your mind.  
"H he has h help,so many people,so strong,so hard to get out,couldn't see,couldn't move,I don't want to have to do that again." You weep and he pulls you closer.  
You crane your neck upwards towards his face and get rewarded with a kiss so deep and meaningful you almost pass out.  
You pull him closer and pour all your feelings into the kiss.   
You break away only for a second to take a panting breath   
"I'll tell you tomorrow…"  
As you fall asleep.


	16. Morning

You wake up on the floor an arm around you.  
You glance upwards suprised to see not spikes face but Charles.  
You sit up abruptly ,frozen.  
"What's wrong pet?"  
You hear spikes voice and calm automatically.  
"Nightmare" you explain.  
"Could you be more specific?"  
"What do you want me to say!" You yell "I can't tell you anything can I because if I do you won't live through the night!" You can't help but sob as he pulls you close.  
As he stokes your hair he's says   
"Breath,ok and then tell me whats going on and once I understand I'll be able to help" "no saying that you can't tell me just do"  
"Ok"  
That's all you say just,ok. You know you can't hold back any more.  
"But If I say anything I want everyone here at the same time so I don't have to repeat it"  
"Ok but we are doing this soon"  
"Yes later today" "I can't wait any longer"  
"I'll call everyone after I leave"


	17. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Think   
> Spike  
> Lots and lots of spike cuteness

As spike leaves your house you breath a sigh of what could be called relief but wasn't in reality.  
You wish that he could stay and sit with you to just hold your hand.  
But you know that he has to leave.  
You have to face your fears and tell everybody.  
You hate the idea of going back to that place but to save your relationship or what could be called a relationship between you and spike you would do anything.

Eight hours later…

As you walk through the school towards the library you hear your name.  
Turning around you see a dazed willow standing there,a puzzled look on her face.  
You laugh as she runs up to you, remembering that nobody but you,spike,angel,buffy and faith knew you were back.   
"Hey will slow down or you'll break something!"  
"I can't help it! Why didn't you say you were back!"  
"I was busy!" "I meant to I really did I just lost track of time"  
"Were you headed to my favourite place?"  
"If that place is called the library and I have no doubt that it is then yes I am"  
"I swear I've heard that sense of humor before!"  
"You have!" You say cryptically   
"Wait!"  
"Yes?" You say expectantly  
"ANGEL!!!" Willow exclaims loudly making you wince.   
"Not quite will,angel doesn't have a sense of humor!"  
"Then who?"  
"My mate,my lover,spike,William"  
"Wow what wow WHAT… I should probaly be more suprised but I'm not which is strange but back to the wow's and the whats!"   
"Ok fine but I got to go meet spike he should be in the library by now"  
"Wait is this the meeting buffy called me about"  
"Yep"  
"Oh what's it about?"  
"Why would I tell you now when we're about to go into a meeting about it?!"  
"Um..."  
"Right"  
As you turn to walk into the building you frown and freeze telling willow to do the same.  
You can sense somebody in the shadows.  
Turning your head slightly you can tell who it is.  
"It's ok to move,willow,my mistake"  
You turn and smile as spike comes swaggering out of the shadows.  
"Hullo luv"  
"Hi" you say smiling. "Did you you get the THING or did you totally forget" you say eyeing his empty hands suspiciously.  
"Well maybe i forgot,yes"  
You smile again turning back to willow who is looking on with a look of what could only be called fascination.  
"So are we going to go inside or are we going to stand here in the cold that only one of us can feel!"  
You can hear the smile in spikes voice as he says.  
"Yes it's probably a good idea to not have the slayer and your b… angel waiting" "and did I just say that!"  
You smile as you notice the bulge in his jacket.  
You had known that he hadn't forgotten.  
As you walk towards the library you trip,looking downwards you see something lying on the floor.  
Bending to pick it up you realise your mistake as spike bends over and picks you up bodily making you giggle.  
Willow starts laughing as you wiggle in spikes grasp.  
"What are you doing" says Angel walking around the corner.  
Spike gently puts you down as he turns towards angels voice.  
"Having fun,Mr dark and broody"  
"Are you gonna tease him like this all the time *because that would make me smile"  
You half talk normally,half whisper.  
"Maybe I will and maybe I won't but I know that it won't be out here."  
"Will you look freezing!" The concern in angels voice makes you look up in surprise.  
The only time he ever seemed concerned was with drusilla.  
Just then buffy peers around the corner.  
"Come on,everyone's waiting for whatever the hell you wanna say"  
"coming" everyone says simultaneously   
While spike groans angel grins at willow while willow shyly smiles back.  
You glance at spike to see if he noticed anything but then you realise that he won't have noticed anything while you were wearing your blue shorts.  
"Oy quit it" you say smiling up at him."Wait for later if you must"  
He grins into his hand as you walk to the door.  
"Wait up" you hear him shout as he speeds around the corner into the library,making xander scream.  
"Hi"…


	18. The game players

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This a fun explanation chapter with not much explaining!

"Wh wha what is HE doing here,you do realise that he's deadboy jr right"   
"Xander quit talking about him like that or I'll have to pummel you"  
"Like you could do that" xander says nervously "wait can you"  
You grin darting to sit at the head of the table next to angel.  
Suddenly you notice that spike wasn't there anymore.  
"Where's spike?" You say.  
At the sound of pounding on the library door you glance over to see spike locked on the outside because of the cross decorating the door all of a sudden.  
You run grabbing the cross off the door ignoring the pain as you fling it across the room.  
Grabbing spike inside,you kiss him saying  
"Don't ever do that again! I got so worried"  
"Why luv?"  
Concern in his voice you pull him over to the table replacing your butt in the seat with his and sitting on his other side.  
"Now before I share something that is deadly important with all of you I way to ask you all two questions"  
Just as you finish your sentence Cordelia comes skidding into te library shouting-"giles! Buffy! ANGEL! SPIKE! WEIRD LADY I DONT KNOW vampires are lining the halls it took all my strength to get past them"  
"By that she means she tried to flirt without puking" xander jokes making you groan.  
Spike grins and angel jumps up helping buffy fend of the bad things.  
But you know you can help if you do something so you stand,walk to the door and shout   
"Oy people! What did I say yesterday!" "Any vamp who dares to fight the slayer and or helpers of then I will personally make sure I see your betters and get you packaged blood for a week and a pounding by yours truly" "so if you would love to see the stars one more time please back away and go on home like little squealing piggies!"  
Hearing a thump you turn around seeing spike on the floor shaking,you walk up to him and kick him making xander snort with laughter and get flicked on the head by Cordelia.  
………………………………………  
"So weren't we here for reason"  
You say before slumping onto the table unconscious.


	19. The GAME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where things start to get a little more interesting and things still don't get explained.

Groggy headed you turn onto your back to find yourself staring at someone you knew quite well but never wanted to see that close up. "Angel"you hiss shoving him off of you before collapsing onto the floor after seeing your surroundings. Standing up you can see all around you and the people in the room. There's angel laying where you pushed him. Spike near the oven. Buffy in the arm chair. Willow on the table. Xander and Cordelia on the couch. And giles against the coat rack. Walking to where you knew the bedroom was situated you tripped over something,glancing at it put any doubt of where you were out of your mind. You knew only two people who smoked that and one  had never been there in his life and was unconscious at the moment which meant that your worst fears had been proven to be true. Hearing a groan behind you,you turn around readying yourself for a fight but upon seeing buffy standing up slowly you take a deep breath and relaxe. "Where the hell are we?" Buffy asks starting to walk towards you before falling over giles. "I belive that we're in the last place I ever hoped I'd be" you reply quickly,as you notice a sign on the door and your walking towards it you stop and help buffy up off the floor. Giving her a helping hand you pull spike up into the arm chair and angel into what you supposed could be called a sitting position but in reality would probably give him a headache when he woke up. "I just need to get something and then I can help you wake them up" Walking up to the door and pulling the note from the knife stuck in the wood of the door.

Around this place you will find a series of questions you will have to answer in order to carry on to the next room before one final question. Also as a parting shot and a hint for what is to be coming- looking for clues will leave you ultimately taking a forever snooze -Charles D ;D

 

Upon reading it you blanch, Dropping the note and pulling the knife out of the door you swing around to come to a dead stop with the knife pointing towards spikes heart. "What the hell are we doing here and what the hell are you pointing a knife at ME for" hearing the incredulous hint of a tone in his voice you grin into your hand glad that he was here if only to make you smile. Picking up the note and dropping the knife onto the kitchen table,you glance around the room to see the only two awake pairs of eyes both staring at you. But ignoring them you walk towards where you propped angel up against the sink and start slapping his face gently trying to wake him up but getting harder all the while as you take all your frustration out on him. When he doesn't wake up and your arms start to tire you glance up at a swinging tail plastic cat clock decorating the wall. Gasping at the time you turn and finally talk to the two flabbergasted people in the living area. "It's 12:00 o'clock! How is that even possible his house is way out in brazil how did we get here from there in less than two hours!" Seeing that neither person was going to answer you any time soon you sigh and patiently flop onto the only spare bit of sofa you can find. "I'll tell you everything I know but first,help me wake them all up!"


	20. Forgiving type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not going to go into the details but lets just say he was not the forgiving type."

After waiting for everyone to stop groaning every time they move or someone went to speak,namely you,and holding their heads you decide to stop wasting time and just get it all over with.  
"I have a secret something I haven't even shared the information of with my friends."  
As you say this you look over to spike and grimace.  
"As you will know I was trapped for 57 years in the basement of a old boyfriends house who happened to have kidnapped me and happened to be a demon."  
"I spent all that time being tortured and abused,he liked to play this little game where he made me choose which person I wanted him to send an attack after.  
As you finish that sentence you take a slow sobbing breath.  
"I always chose you or angel." You say looking over at spike.  
"Because I knew you were strong enough to hold yourself in the fight."  
"Though if I'm being fully truthful I also sent an attack after dru once." You wince and glance at angel mouthing sorry.  
"I always felt horrible after I chose but I knew what he would do to me if I didn't choose and I...,god forbid I thought it was so much worse."  
"I'm not going to go into the details but lets just say he was not the forgiving type."


End file.
